A Whole 'Nutha' Level

A friend of mine and I have a running joke about the word 'another.' She insists that when something is really bad it warrants the phrase 'a whole nutha' as opposed to 'another whole' or 'a whole other.' When I told her that I took my morning to a whole new level of ridiculousness on Wednesday she corrected me with this text:

Normally, I'm the grammar queen. While I try not to be rude and correct you to your face, I'll be thinking about it in my head. But, after the morning I had, I think Erika might just be right. I didn't just bring my morning to another whole level or a whole other level. It was a whole nutha level of chaos.

It all started Monday night. I fell asleep from 9-10:30, then couldn't sleep anymore. As I was about to doze off at 2 am, Charlotte woke up. She had apparently received an invitation for a party in my bed that I was hosting. She was WIDE AWAKE and asking for snacks and chocolate milk. Thinking it might shut her up, I obliged. What kind of hostess would I be otherwise? Unfortunately, every time I started to doze off, some other fool needed something from me. The dog had to go out. The cat had to go out. The guinea pig was squeaking. (When was the last time you threw carrots at something at 4 am?) It was insanity. Right around 5:30 (when my alarm went off), Charlotte fell asleep. I figured out that I got about 3 hours of non-consecutive sleep. 

Which brought me into Tuesday. When I had to be at work until 7:30 pm. There's nothing like looking at student data for 3 1/2 hours when you haven't slept. Needless to say, I was a little tired Tuesday night. I knew I had a lot to do, but I just didn't have it in me. So, I set the alarm for 4 am and called it a night. I figured that would give me plenty of time to do all the things I should've done Tuesday night. Since I am a big fan of the snooze button, I set two alarms on my phone and one on my alarm clock. 

Color me surprised when I rolled over and looked at the clock on my table. I must've been exhausted because I have no recollection of a single alarm going off. Not one of the three. I vaguely remember screaming: "IT'S 6:40!!" This is a cause for panic because we leave the house at 7:15, PJ usually leaves at 6:20, and my mom comes to babysit anywhere between 6:45 and 7 am. And I still hadn't accomplished a single task!

I now found myself faced with the prospect of finding clothes for myself and five kids, packing lunches, getting everyone dressed and fed, dealing with the pets, and getting out the door in 35 minutes. Not only that, but I usually try to tidy up the disaster house before my mom arrives. And, did I mention that it was Crazy Hat Day at the kids' school and we hadn't decorated the hats yet? This is when you should laugh. Because I did. Otherwise I might cry. So I laughed. There was a little edge of hysteria there, but I laughed nonetheless.

PJ dashed out of the house as fast as he could. The kids did a lot of helping like letting the dog out and feeding the pets. I'm pretty sure one of the girls got Sean dressed. My mom helped with hair brushing, face washing, and shoe tying. (And by the time I got home, she had tackled the embarrassingly huge pile of dishes in the sink.) I found clothes (miraculous) and packed lunches and got everyone in the car right on time. Which is where we decorated crazy hats. The kids were in the backseat sticking foam letters to their hats while I did puffy paint at red lights. It was completely psychotic.

I don't text and drive, but they never said anything about puffy paint.

Patrick kept tipping his hat and saying, "Good morrow," like someone from a Dickens novel.

Lucy was my backseat decorator. She did a lot of helping (especially since I was driving).

And yes, Sophie's eyebrows are a little green. She had her face painted at dinner and we didn't quite get it all off in the chaos.

That's a bunny in Sean's lap. He wanted take it out of his hat at school.

So, I guess I have to agree with Erika on this one. I took my morning to a whole nutha level of craziness. I'm hoping for an utterly boring week next week. Although, if that were the case, I'd have nothing to blog about. And all of you organized people out there wouldn't be able to read this so smugly like you are. So, you're welcome. 

HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who likes it a little crazy. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and Twitter. Like the page and follow me!

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron??

CARE TO LEAVE A COMMENT?

Tuesday's Tip (#20)

Here's a tip for you:

Don't procrastinate.

Seriously. Do what I say, not what I do. 

Otherwise, you'll have to send your poor husband to the uniform store with all five children to wait in a line that goes out the door...the day before school starts. You will also realize that no one - anywhere - has blue knee socks for your second grade daughter. You may also find yourself - at 5 in the morning - hemming your third grader's pants. Better still, you'll be packing the newly purchased school supplies into four backpacks well before the crack of dawn. 

So, take my advice and plan ahead. Then you won't be writing your Tuesday's Tips on Wednesday night.

Have a tip to share? Or some lessons on time management? Feel free to leave a comment below...

...& be sure to check back every Tuesday for a new tip!

Christmas Madness

It's crunch time, people!


Sorry. I felt like that was necessary. The only thing anyone seems to talk about right now is how much they need to get done before Christmas arrives in less than two weeks. There seem to be two camps of people out there. The "I've had all of my gifts purchased and wrapped for weeks" gang and the "how the hell am I going to do the eighty-five thousand things on my list??" posse. If you have a conversation with either group, it tends to leave you feeling a little less than the Christmas spirit. The first bunch will give you a smug smile and boast about the fact that they've been all done for ages. The second bunch will have that panicked look in their eyes and proceed to tell you every single thing they have yet to do.


I am very happily in my own group altogether. Feel free to join me. I am in the "procrastination is the only way I know how to do anything and it doesn't stress me out at all" crowd. Although, I'm not too sure you can call it a crowd. PJ and I are happy to do everything last minute. This is how we roll. We sit down one night and do a bunch of shopping online. Then, we have my in-laws babysit one evening and make a date night of picking up anything that we need to get in the stores. Inevitably, this all happens about a week before Christmas. It's fun and we never have an issue getting it all done. I'm also happy to continue the tradition of staying up until 3 am on Christmas Eve and wrapping everyone's presents while A Christmas Story plays on repeat. I just have to remember to have some yummy snacks on hand so I don't steal Santa's cookies and milk. Goodness knows, the reindeer's carrots don't tempt me at all.


Lately, I have been fielding a new question. (Apparently, people are over the "are they all yours?" question for the moment.) "Have you finished your shopping?" This is where I smile and say, "No. We haven't even started yet." I wish I could properly type the gasp that I get as a response. Even the panicked posse shuts up for a minute. 


I don't love to shop. I also don't like crowds. Add in the wild-eyed lunatics that are out hunting for one last gift - and will happily knock you down or pepper spray you to get it - and I start to lose it altogether. I feel my skin begin to crawl when I drive by the mall and watch the cars slowly stalking anyone who walks through the lot just to get a parking spot. The less time I spend dealing with that, the better for everyone.


So, we bang out our shopping in an evening or two. We make most of our purchases online. Then we sit back and enjoy the festivities without having gone nuts for months in advance. It's fun and it works for us. But, who am I kidding? I don't do anything without procrastinating anyway!

Bring your pepper spray!

Get a good spot!

Enjoy the blog? Use the "follow" buttons at the top of the page to find a way to follow me! Also, feel free to click on the Top Mommy Blogs button to vote for me!