A Whole 'Nutha' Level

A friend of mine and I have a running joke about the word 'another.' She insists that when something is really bad it warrants the phrase 'a whole nutha' as opposed to 'another whole' or 'a whole other.' When I told her that I took my morning to a whole new level of ridiculousness on Wednesday she corrected me with this text:

Normally, I'm the grammar queen. While I try not to be rude and correct you to your face, I'll be thinking about it in my head. But, after the morning I had, I think Erika might just be right. I didn't just bring my morning to another whole level or a whole other level. It was a whole nutha level of chaos.

It all started Monday night. I fell asleep from 9-10:30, then couldn't sleep anymore. As I was about to doze off at 2 am, Charlotte woke up. She had apparently received an invitation for a party in my bed that I was hosting. She was WIDE AWAKE and asking for snacks and chocolate milk. Thinking it might shut her up, I obliged. What kind of hostess would I be otherwise? Unfortunately, every time I started to doze off, some other fool needed something from me. The dog had to go out. The cat had to go out. The guinea pig was squeaking. (When was the last time you threw carrots at something at 4 am?) It was insanity. Right around 5:30 (when my alarm went off), Charlotte fell asleep. I figured out that I got about 3 hours of non-consecutive sleep. 

Which brought me into Tuesday. When I had to be at work until 7:30 pm. There's nothing like looking at student data for 3 1/2 hours when you haven't slept. Needless to say, I was a little tired Tuesday night. I knew I had a lot to do, but I just didn't have it in me. So, I set the alarm for 4 am and called it a night. I figured that would give me plenty of time to do all the things I should've done Tuesday night. Since I am a big fan of the snooze button, I set two alarms on my phone and one on my alarm clock. 

Color me surprised when I rolled over and looked at the clock on my table. I must've been exhausted because I have no recollection of a single alarm going off. Not one of the three. I vaguely remember screaming: "IT'S 6:40!!" This is a cause for panic because we leave the house at 7:15, PJ usually leaves at 6:20, and my mom comes to babysit anywhere between 6:45 and 7 am. And I still hadn't accomplished a single task!

I now found myself faced with the prospect of finding clothes for myself and five kids, packing lunches, getting everyone dressed and fed, dealing with the pets, and getting out the door in 35 minutes. Not only that, but I usually try to tidy up the disaster house before my mom arrives. And, did I mention that it was Crazy Hat Day at the kids' school and we hadn't decorated the hats yet? This is when you should laugh. Because I did. Otherwise I might cry. So I laughed. There was a little edge of hysteria there, but I laughed nonetheless.

PJ dashed out of the house as fast as he could. The kids did a lot of helping like letting the dog out and feeding the pets. I'm pretty sure one of the girls got Sean dressed. My mom helped with hair brushing, face washing, and shoe tying. (And by the time I got home, she had tackled the embarrassingly huge pile of dishes in the sink.) I found clothes (miraculous) and packed lunches and got everyone in the car right on time. Which is where we decorated crazy hats. The kids were in the backseat sticking foam letters to their hats while I did puffy paint at red lights. It was completely psychotic.

I don't text and drive, but they never said anything about puffy paint.

Patrick kept tipping his hat and saying, "Good morrow," like someone from a Dickens novel.

Lucy was my backseat decorator. She did a lot of helping (especially since I was driving).

And yes, Sophie's eyebrows are a little green. She had her face painted at dinner and we didn't quite get it all off in the chaos.

That's a bunny in Sean's lap. He wanted take it out of his hat at school.

So, I guess I have to agree with Erika on this one. I took my morning to a whole nutha level of craziness. I'm hoping for an utterly boring week next week. Although, if that were the case, I'd have nothing to blog about. And all of you organized people out there wouldn't be able to read this so smugly like you are. So, you're welcome. 

HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who likes it a little crazy. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and Twitter. Like the page and follow me!

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron??

CARE TO LEAVE A COMMENT?

The Road to Hell...

... is paved with good intentions.


As my summer vacation officially started this morning, here are all of the things I am going to do this summer:

• My laundry. ALL of it. Even the pile that got thrown in the back hall because we were having company and I didn't have time to fold it and now it's been out there for a month and I should donate all of that stuff to Goodwill since we haven't missed it anyway. (Holy run-on sentence, Batman! See what my laundry does to me?)
• Organize the playroom. The one you can't walk into without actually having a climbing license to get over the piles of stuff.
• Have a yard sale (or four) to purge some stuff.
• Not end up on Hoarders. See above.
• Exercise every day. Don't laugh.
• Get my nails done. Because I have had not one, but two gift certificates in my purse for over a year.
• Get my hair cut. See above.
• Do something fun with the kids every day. This is probably the only bullet on this list that will actually happen. But, I suppose that is the way it should be. Kids should trump laundry and cleaning, right?

So, bring on my two months off! (And let's hope September doesn't find me buried under laundry and toys with long hair, gross nails, & a giant ass.)

Cue Alice Cooper...

If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's OUT FOR SUMMER! You can also stalk find me on Facebook and Twitter. Like the page and follow me!

P.S. Don't forget to vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs. Click that cute little brown button on my sidebar to vote for me...

And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. You know you want some!

Tuesday's Tip (#7)

Here's a tip for you:

Don't be a bag lady.

As the school year is winding down, I am getting lazier and lazier. I haven't been laying out the clothes at night. I haven't been packing the lunches. I haven't packed the diaper bag for the babysitter. This leads to ridiculous morning chaos where I take all kinds of short cuts to get all of us out of the house as close to on time as possible. 

Today, I managed to get all of the kids off to school. Then it was time to get myself ready. I was rushing to get stuff together so I just threw things into shopping bags. I walked out of the house with:

• my computer bag
• my work bag
• my lunch in a plastic bag
• Sean & Charlotte's things in a plastic bag (somewhere I have a fancy diaper bag)
• an extra shirt & shoes for a work function in a plastic bag
• last night's chicken carcass in a plastic bag to go in the trash.

That last one was what sealed the deal on how ridiculous I looked. My big fear was dropping my lunch in the trash can and ending up with a chicken carcass for lunch at school today. Whatever. The school year is almost over. Why bother now?

Have a tip to share? Or an extra large Louis Vuitton you want to lend me? Feel free to leave a comment below...

... & be sure to check back every Tuesday for a new tip!

Resolutions, really?

So here we are. A few days into the new year. Everywhere you look people are creating, listing and discussing their resolutions. As a matter of fact, most people have done so already. I'm starting behind, again. In the past, I've used January 1st as the date when I would start many resolutions to better my life. Inevitably, by the end of the week, most of my resolutions would already be thrown by the wayside (with numerous chocolate bar wrappers). This year, I decided I'm going to focus on things that will make my life run more smoothly and are more easily attainable.


So here they are, in no particular order:

• Do one load of laundry a day. On a really good day, fold and put away the laundry so we don't have to dig through the "clean" pile to find matching socks.
• On that note... Socks! (Sadly, that warranted an exclamation point.) Everyone in my family will wear clean, matching socks. This especially includes me. Bonus points if the novelty socks match the current season or holiday.
• Make dinner. If my husband and I have one more hour-long conversation about which take-out to order - longer than the time it would take to make dinner - one of us will end up dead (and it's not going to be me).
• Drink more water. My caffeine binges (followed by the occasional weekend beers) have to be taking a toll on my body.
• Give in to the nightly chocolate craving with a reasonable amount of chocolate. I'm not going to fight it, but a few Hershey kisses has got to be a better choice than the king-sized candy bar that weighs almost as much as my cat.
• Teach my slobs children to clean up after themselves. Sadly, in my frenzied quest to clean before company arrives, I'm usually heard asking my kids to "just get out of my way and let me do it." Needless to say, I've created monsters. This year is going to be the year of the clean house. Well, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. The Year of the Somewhat Tidy House sounds more likely.
•  Try to get things done at night. I'm a night owl. I always stay up late. Why not actually accomplish a few tasks (pack a lunch, find the uniforms) so I don't have to literally work up a sweat rushing around in the morning? It would be nice to go to work knowing my shower lasted until after I went out the door.

Needless to say, I've got my work cut out for me. However, all of these resolutions should be fairly simple if I put a little work into them every day. But... as I sit here typing with a few Oreos and a glass of milk (and no lunches packed or clothes laid out), I realize they'll have to wait until tomorrow. With any luck, we can start then with 14 clean socks and a whole new year ahead of us.

Socks!

If you like what you read, why not become a fan on Facebook, or follow me on Twitter? You can also click the Top Mommy Blogs button to give me a vote. {show the love!}

Rage Against the Routine

Our days - like most people we know - are very full.  By the time I get home from work, help with homework, make dinner, clean up, bathe the children (on a good night), and put them to bed, all I want to do is sit on the couch, preferably with a Hershey bar and a glass of milk, and do absolutely nothing.  Most nights, that is exactly what I do.  This leads to a most ridiculous morning.  Tasks that would take about 30 minutes after the kids go to bed - lay out the clothes, pack the lunches, check the backpacks, etc. - morph into insurmountable feats once the sun rises.  All of a sudden, I find myself yelling at that one to brush his teeth, yanking a brush through this one's hair, while changing a diaper and wondering where the other blue knee sock is for someone's uniform.  Needless to say, it's not an enjoyable event for anyone involved.

There is a way I can make my life easier, but it is something I struggle with every day.  The nightly routine.  The little angel on my shoulder keeps playing her harp and saying (ever so sweetly), "Just get up.  It'll take no time at all to pack those lunches and make sure everyone has two socks."  Meanwhile, that damn little devil pokes me in the other shoulder with his pitch fork and says, "Screw it.  You can get up a little earlier and worry about all that crap in the morning.  Now sit back and enjoy some chocolate." More often than not, the devil wins.  Those nights are then followed by a morning with banshee mom on the hunt for matching shoes and socks (where do they all go????).  Why do I do this to myself?  I know my whole day will start off better and run more smoothly if I just stick to the nightly routine.

So here I sit.  I've polished off the chocolate and set the alarm for well before the crack of dawn.  Barring a snooze button fiasco, I should be able to get it all done.  I guess the devil wins again.  Well... there's always tomorrow.

The List

I have a "to do" list.  As a matter of fact, I have a few.  Some are on paper, some in the notepad function on my phone, and even an actual "To Do" application in the same phone.  It's a bit of a compulsion.  There are a few reasons for the "to do" list obsession.

One reason for the list is that I can't remember to do anything.  I have that many kids.  I have to put everything on my list for the day:

• shower
• feed pets
• dress the kids
• etc...

There's no telling what might happen if I don't add even the most basic tasks to the list.  I'll stink, the pets will starve and the children will be at school in their pajamas.  Don't judge.  Come tell me how many things you forget to do when you're trying to get 5 kids out the door.  I'd be willing to bet you might forget to brush your teeth your lunch, too!

The other reason for the list is that it helps me feel like I've accomplished something.  There are days when my house is in disarray, my children are unruly, and I don't feel like I've managed to accomplish a single task without being interrupted or derailed in some way.  Then, I look at the "to do" list.  I could get discouraged when I see that I still haven't checked off the laundry I hoped to fold, finished those lessons for work, or sent those emails I meant to send.  I really might feel down if I count how many items did not get checked off the list.  Instead, I choose to focus on my accomplishments for the day.  I showered, the pets were fed, and the kids were dressed.  Some days, that's as far as I can get.  Check!

Back to School

It's that time of year again. The air is a little cooler, the days are a little shorter, the school supply commercials are all you see, and parents everywhere are breathing a collective sigh of relief. Its time to go Back To School. 


I've always loved this time of year. As a kid, I was the geek with all of the perfectly sharpened pencils and color-coordinated notebooks and folders in my Trapper Keeper (just try to tell me those things weren't great!). There's nothing like a bunch of brand-new notebooks with crisp, clean pages just waiting for all of the perfectly neat notes I would stop taking by the time October rolled around.


It is a little tough.  I really like being home all summer with my kids.  Our schedule is relaxed and we have our choice of fun activities to do each day.  Going back to school means packing lunches, juggling childcare, and rushing around to get everything done. For me, though, it's always meant a new beginning.  Some people wait until the start of the new year in January to "begin anew."  I get to do that every September.  I try to get back into a better routine, plan new activities for my children and my students, anything that will make my life run more smoothly.


I have so many intentions at the start of a new school year.  Often, life catches up with me and, much like others' New Year's resolutions, they go by the wayside.  Regardless, the air is getting crisp, the kids have new backpacks full of unbroken crayons and sharpened pencils, and I have a fresh start ahead of me.  Here's to sticking to it (until January, when I need to start over again)!