Dumb Ways To Parent...

Have you seen the "Dumb Ways to Die" app? If not, you should. It's pretty funny. At the very least, click the link and go listen to the song. Go ahead. I'll wait right here. (It makes this post so much funnier if you actually know what I'm talking about.)

Apparently, this song - and the app that eventually stemmed from it - was meant to be a public service announcement to teach people in Australia to be safe around trains. It lists numerous "dumb" ways to die and you basically get the understanding that it's also dumb to not be safe around trains.

My good friend, Dawnie (her pet name at my house), decided it was totally appropriate to show Patrick the app (because it is so fun to play). He loved it and got approval to download it. AND... since we all share an iTunes account, all of the other knuckleheads play it, too. There's really nothing like hearing Charlotte (in all her three year-old splendor) sing about setting fire to your hair and poking sticks at grizzly bears with a faint Australian accent.

Little did I know, however, that the game and its catchy little tune might actually become educational. Sophie is getting to that age where she is one of the big kids in the house and can start to do a lot more for herself & others. This includes making toast with butter for herself and the little kids. She loves to do it (because the novelty of helping out the little kids hasn't worn off, yet). 

Yesterday, she was sitting on the counter waiting for the toast. When it popped, she realized that the bread was a little small and she couldn't quite get it out. So she announced that she was going to grab a fork. That's when Sean stepped in to save the day:

{singing} "Get your toast out with a fork... Do your own electrical work... Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die...

Sophie, don't you know you can get electrocuted doing that??"

Please appreciate the fact that he was laughing at her. And he just turned 5. I should thank the people of Melbourne for helping my kids out with that important life lesson. I should probably go over some basic kitchen rules, while I'm at it. 

Yikes

So, if you're too lazy to teach your kids basic safety, teach them the song. At least they'll go through life knowing it's not okay to "teach yourself how to fly" or "eat a two week-old unrefrigerated pie."

HEY! If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's teaching safety through song. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and Twitter. Like the page and follow me!

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron?

-->Have you played the game, too? (I can't get the toast out!) Feel free to share your story in the comments below...

Things You Hear...

I know the whole "kids say the darndest things" phenomenon is not new. I've even blogged about it before. The other day, however, I decided to write down some of the weird, silly, or inappropriate things I heard in my house. Here's a small sampling of the ridiculousness that is my life:


Mom, Sean's gargling soda from last night!
Apparently, someone - who shall remain unnamed PJ - left a glass of Diet Coke on the table. Patrick thought I should know that Sean decided to use it as mouthwash at seven in the morning.


I peed on the toilet!
Charlotte, announcing the fact that she started potty training herself at three in the morning. Because she's a pain in my ass. Or because she's trying to free me of the diaper hell I've been in for 8 1/2 straight years.


No, Charlotte. Only boys can stand when they pee. Because they have a wiener.
Sophie, explaining the ways of the world to her little sister.


Keep buttering! Keep buttering!
What I heard Sophie shouting from the other end of the house. I really hoped she was referring to toast. Unfortunately, she wasn't.


My finger was stuck but Sophie buttered it and it came out.
Sean got his finger stuck in the clasp of Mobay's leash, so Sophie grabbed the butter off the counter and took care of that problem. Ingenious. I love when these kids take care of problems without my help. I think. 


She's strangling him!
This one was in my notes, but I can't remember  a.) who said it, b.) who was the strangler or c.) who was strangled. It's a toss-up, really. And a testament to how nuts this place is.


These bubbles suck.
Charlotte, bemoaning her dollar store bubbles and the fact that they just keep popping. I really need a "swear jar." For myself. 


I'm listening to the MUFFETS!!!!
Sean walking around with earbuds in his ears and an old iPod on shuffle. He was a little excited when a Muppets song came on.


You need a little more eyeshadow.
Lucy conspiring with Sophie. This usually ends with Charlotte looking like a baby streetwalker. 


Put your head on my shoooooulder. Whisper in my ear, PIZZA.
Charlotte singing her favorite bedtime song. And replacing the lyrics for a midnight snack.


These little quotes are just a small sampling of the things that can be heard in one day in my house. Needless to say, it's always interesting around here.

HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's eavesdropping. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and Twitter. Like the page and follow me!

---->P.S. Don't forget to vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs. Click that cute little brown button on my sidebar to vote for me...

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. You know you want some!