Rocking It

How do you know when you're rocking this Monday morning?

• When you have so much difficulty putting on your tights that you're sweaty and out of breath. A sure sign of needing more cardio and some weight loss.
• When you almost crash your car because there is a spider on the ceiling. And then you make your 9 year old kill it. Which he doesn't do successfully. So you drive the rest of your commute waiting for that creepy little bugger to crawl onto your head.
• When you send the 4 year old to school without a jacket. In the pouring rain.
• When you get almost all the way to the babysitter's house before you realize that you put the 2 year old in the car with no shoes. Then you decide to go all the way back home to get them. Even better, you text the babysitter (from a red light) and she offers to lend some of her kids' old shoes that are almost the same size. What a time saver! Better still, at the next red light, the 2 year old points out that her black, patent leather Easter shoes are on the floor of the car. I knew there would be a benefit to having a messy car. Triumph!
• When all of this happens in the 90 minutes it takes to leave your house, drop off the kids at school and go to the babysitter's.

How many more Mondays until school is out for summer?? The countdown is on, baby!



Peace out, homies.
(Photo courtesy of my 10 year old niece who is teaching Charlotte to take peace sign/duckface photos at a nice, early age.)



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A Whole 'Nutha' Level

A friend of mine and I have a running joke about the word 'another.' She insists that when something is really bad it warrants the phrase 'a whole nutha' as opposed to 'another whole' or 'a whole other.' When I told her that I took my morning to a whole new level of ridiculousness on Wednesday she corrected me with this text:

Normally, I'm the grammar queen. While I try not to be rude and correct you to your face, I'll be thinking about it in my head. But, after the morning I had, I think Erika might just be right. I didn't just bring my morning to another whole level or a whole other level. It was a whole nutha level of chaos.

It all started Monday night. I fell asleep from 9-10:30, then couldn't sleep anymore. As I was about to doze off at 2 am, Charlotte woke up. She had apparently received an invitation for a party in my bed that I was hosting. She was WIDE AWAKE and asking for snacks and chocolate milk. Thinking it might shut her up, I obliged. What kind of hostess would I be otherwise? Unfortunately, every time I started to doze off, some other fool needed something from me. The dog had to go out. The cat had to go out. The guinea pig was squeaking. (When was the last time you threw carrots at something at 4 am?) It was insanity. Right around 5:30 (when my alarm went off), Charlotte fell asleep. I figured out that I got about 3 hours of non-consecutive sleep. 

Which brought me into Tuesday. When I had to be at work until 7:30 pm. There's nothing like looking at student data for 3 1/2 hours when you haven't slept. Needless to say, I was a little tired Tuesday night. I knew I had a lot to do, but I just didn't have it in me. So, I set the alarm for 4 am and called it a night. I figured that would give me plenty of time to do all the things I should've done Tuesday night. Since I am a big fan of the snooze button, I set two alarms on my phone and one on my alarm clock. 

Color me surprised when I rolled over and looked at the clock on my table. I must've been exhausted because I have no recollection of a single alarm going off. Not one of the three. I vaguely remember screaming: "IT'S 6:40!!" This is a cause for panic because we leave the house at 7:15, PJ usually leaves at 6:20, and my mom comes to babysit anywhere between 6:45 and 7 am. And I still hadn't accomplished a single task!

I now found myself faced with the prospect of finding clothes for myself and five kids, packing lunches, getting everyone dressed and fed, dealing with the pets, and getting out the door in 35 minutes. Not only that, but I usually try to tidy up the disaster house before my mom arrives. And, did I mention that it was Crazy Hat Day at the kids' school and we hadn't decorated the hats yet? This is when you should laugh. Because I did. Otherwise I might cry. So I laughed. There was a little edge of hysteria there, but I laughed nonetheless.

PJ dashed out of the house as fast as he could. The kids did a lot of helping like letting the dog out and feeding the pets. I'm pretty sure one of the girls got Sean dressed. My mom helped with hair brushing, face washing, and shoe tying. (And by the time I got home, she had tackled the embarrassingly huge pile of dishes in the sink.) I found clothes (miraculous) and packed lunches and got everyone in the car right on time. Which is where we decorated crazy hats. The kids were in the backseat sticking foam letters to their hats while I did puffy paint at red lights. It was completely psychotic.

I don't text and drive, but they never said anything about puffy paint.

Patrick kept tipping his hat and saying, "Good morrow," like someone from a Dickens novel.

Lucy was my backseat decorator. She did a lot of helping (especially since I was driving).

And yes, Sophie's eyebrows are a little green. She had her face painted at dinner and we didn't quite get it all off in the chaos.

That's a bunny in Sean's lap. He wanted take it out of his hat at school.

So, I guess I have to agree with Erika on this one. I took my morning to a whole nutha level of craziness. I'm hoping for an utterly boring week next week. Although, if that were the case, I'd have nothing to blog about. And all of you organized people out there wouldn't be able to read this so smugly like you are. So, you're welcome. 

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The Day After...

Not to be repetitive, but it's the day after Christmas. I'm in pretty much the same state as last year. 

• I had to put all five kids in the car to go get coffee because I forgot to add that to the pre-Christmas grocery list.
• The house (which I had cleaned for Christmas) is in shambles. 
• The dishes are overflowing the sink because I was still running the first load of cooking and baking stuff when 15 people came for Christmas dinner. (And, a few beers into the evening, the dirty dishes seem far less important.)
• My daughters have changed their clothes 87 times this morning and I have no idea what is what anymore.

Clothes, clothes everywhere

• I have put in no less than 4 million AA & AAA batteries. I hate those damn tiny screws.
• Yesterday, I spent almost 90 minutes putting together Charlotte's new dollhouse - only to find out that Santa didn't realize the box said "dolls not included." And, even though Charlotte is a giant for her age, she won't be able to see the top floor for a few more years. 

That's a lot of dollhouse!

• I'm still rummaging around for something to dip in my satay sauce because the chicken is gone. (roast beef? bagel crisps? marshmallows?)
• The kids need to stop trying to cram into the Glow Crazy doodle tent together. It's definitely not made for more than two kids.

This isn't going to end well. 

In all, it's been a great Christmas. The kids got tons of stuff from Santa, family, & friends. I can only hope the chaos of the last few days makes them tired enough to fall asleep before PJ & I tonight. We could really use one quiet night on the couch before we attempt to find a place for even more stuff in our house!

What about you...did you survive the chaos of Christmas?

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It's My Own Fault

My days are crazy and chaotic. That's to be expected with 5 kids. To be perfectly honest, however, I know that we create at least 90% of our own craziness. 

Take the morning routine, for example. Two days a week, I leave the house at 7:15 am with all 5 kids, drop 4/5 of the children at their school which isn't in our town, return to a different part of our town to bring Charlotte to the babysitter, and then end up in an entirely new town to go to work.

I try not to whine about it, though, because it is all our choice. It is our choice to send the kids to a school that is neither near our house nor near my work. So why complain? But, just for fun, I logged our stops into my GPS this morning to see just how ridiculous the routine really is:

Just plain silly...

So there it is in living color. My ridiculous commute. Watch out, folks... crazy mama driving.

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You Know It's Going To Be One Of Those Days When...

You know it's going to be one of those days when:

• you realize your daughter left her uniform dress at school.
• you're still packing lunch boxes when it's time to leave the house.
• you're dressing small children by force because you don't have time to let them do it themselves.
• you're running late to leave the house and you remember the car seat isn't in the car.
• you remember that you forgot to get gas in said car last night (and you can't even blame it on your husband).
• your youngest child throws up scrambled eggs all over herself and her car seat while you're doing the mad dash to get to school.
• you get your children to school 10 minutes late and still have to drop your baby off at the babysitter before you go to work.
• your three year old randomly starts crying because he doesn't want to go to school and you have to tear him off your legs in the classroom.
• you eat two bags of Fun Size M&M's for breakfast.

So, instead of losing your f'ing mind, you try to focus on the positive:

• Today is your last day of work for the week.
• The kids are off tomorrow so NOBODY has to wake up (especially since you already threatened them within an inch of their lives).
• Your best buddy at work knew you were having a tough morning and brought you both your morning coffee AND pizza for lunch!

There it is.  Just another one of those days. It is what it is...

HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who ate Halloween candy for breakfast. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and Twitter. Like the page and follow me!

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**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron??