Seamless (how NOT to describe Friday night)

This past Friday I was home alone with the kids. Fridays are when the whole week seems to catch up with them and I end up with a house full of cranky kids. To head off the impending disaster, I decided on early dinner and bedtime for all of them. By eight o'clock, I had a quiet house all to myself. 


While I was catching up on my DVR shows, I texted my husband to ask him to bring me home some dinner. He responded, "I just ordered. I'll be home soon." I took this very literally and assumed this meant he'd be heading home with food for me.


Imagine my surprise when the doorbell rang at 8:30. I jumped out of bed while the dog barked madly and ran to see who could possibly be at my door this late. There was a gentleman standing on my porch with a pizza box and a bag in his hand. Huh?


I stepped out onto the porch (to prevent the dog from eating said gentleman) and tried to figure out if this food belonged to me. I explained that I hadn't ordered any food (that I could recall) but the slip surely had my address on it. This man then informed me that I owed him $27.60. I'm sure he thought he would just show up with food and get money. Instead he got the confused lady who had to go call her husband. As I set the food down on the porch so I could go inside to get the phone, he was yelling, "Sweetie, take your food inside or it'll get cold!" Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "I'm pretty sure I don't have $27.60 in my purse." 


I call PJ and discover that he did, indeed, order food for me using his new Seamless App on the iPhone. While he's trying to explain to me that the order was placed through his debit card - contrary to the delivery man's belief - the baby wakes up screaming. Now I'm standing on the porch with a dog who is trying out for the remake of Cujo, a crying baby, and a bunch of food that is supposedly paid for, but we're not really sure. The poor delivery man was at a loss.  "Please, Miss. Just take the food and take the baby inside. Please," he was pleading. I didn't know what to do. I tipped him the only $2 I had in my pocket and went inside. In the meantime, PJ confirmed with the pizza shop that they did get their money. The poor delivery guy probably won't be rushing back to our house any time soon after all of the confusion.


I got the baby settled down and decided to check out my dinner. I assumed, based on orders of the past, that it would be a pepperoni pizza and some buffalo fingers. I opened the small container and found plain, over-cooked chicken wings. Not exactly mouthwatering (or anything I would order). So, I decided to start on the pizza. Imagine my surprise when I found a large pepperoni pizza - with broccoli on top. I'm a big fan of broccoli, as a side dish at dinner. Maybe even on a veggie pizza. But on top of pepperoni? No, thanks. I thought PJ was trying to be funny when he ordered. Although, if you know me well, you know better than to mess with my food.

No, thanks!

PJ came home a few hours later. He was rummaging around looking for a midnight snack. Needless to say, even he was surprised by the food we got. Apparently, it wasn't at all what he had ordered. Seamless wasn't so seamless after all.


As usual, what should be a normal event, turns into lessons for us all:


1.) Don't over-do it with technology. Just pick up the damn phone and order a pizza.
2.) Too many cooks in the kitchen - don't ask your husband to do something that you can just do yourself. You'll end up standing on the porch, scaring the delivery guy, and eating gross topping combos.