Crazy Town

I grew up as the youngest of two children. My sister is 6 1/2 years older than I am (don't listen to her when she tries to pretend she's the younger sister). My house was pretty quiet as a kid. We were just far enough apart that we entertained ourselves. This is why my mom's most frequent statement in my house is: "This house is crazy."

To some degree, I understand. The day-to-day routine with 5 kids and an obnoxious (& ginormous) puppy is much more hectic than a house with a 6 and 12 year old could ever be. 

What my mom doesn't realize is that, sometimes, it is legitimately crazy around here. My children are insane. They're great at entertaining themselves, but that just means that they've invented some bizarre new game. 

Here are a few recent highlights of these whack jobs in action:

Charlotte told me she's "pretending to be Baba." Baba is PJ's 90 year old nana who likes to wear leopard print clothes. A lot. Apparently, Baba's fashions haven't escaped Charlotte's attention.

Thanks to Rondo, the dog. I can only assume this is the aftermath of a puppy keg party. He really needs to learn to hide the evidence.

I'm assuming this look stems from a night of drinking, too. Or, Charlotte is trying that new topless ninja look that is all the rage. (Side note: why do my children have such an aversion to clothes?)

And then there are the photo edits they do to themselves (or each other):

Nice look, Lulu!

Lucy's interpretation of Sophie.

We've discussed my issue with dolls. They scare the crap out of me. 

This is one of Charlotte's favorite toys. It's also the creepiest. (Sorry, Grammy!) But there she sits - with her crazy crossed eyes - just mocking me with a big, old thumbs up.

At least Creepy Baby and I share taste in beer. (Is she making funny eyebrows at me?? {waggle, waggle})

If they're not acting crazy, they're sleeping crazy. Sean's either a yoga master or suffering from narcolepsy. Here he is sleeping face down on the carpet while 20 people yell and scream at the Patriots on TV. Impressive.

Charlotte invites herself, creepy baby, and the (not tiny) dog to join me in bed. She didn't want me to be lonely. How thoughtful!

Group coma, everyone!

One thing is for sure: being crazy certainly wears them out. So... at least I have that going for me in this insane asylum that I call home.

In case you're wondering what antics they get up to when left to they're own devices, here is a clip of what happens when Patrick & Sophie "entertain" themselves:

Big Box O' Crazy

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-->Is your house crazy, too? Feel free to share your story in the comments below...

Wordless Wednesday - Dining Out

And then sometimes, this happens:

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X Games - Parenting Edition

The X Games are so named because they involve sports that are extreme in nature. For those of you who have spent any time dealing with kids, you know that some experiences can only be described as extreme. Forget about the Winter X Games and the Summer X Games - here are a few of my nominations for the Parenting X Games:


Bathroom Baby Dodging
This is a game of skill and will. The competitor must wait until they have a full bladder. As soon as the bladder is full to bursting, they must endeavor to run to the bathroom all while dodging tiny children. These children will be just the right height to take the competitor out at the knees. Points are deducted for knocking down the children. Bonus points if the competitor makes it to the bathroom without children in tow (and before peeing in their pants).

Diaper Dash
This event is not for the faint of heart (or stomach). Each competitor will be given a very cranky baby with a very dirty diaper. The goal is to beat the clock and change the diaper. It will be necessary to have at least six arms to hold down the squirming brat child and two more to genuinely clean them. Major point deductions if the shit actually hits the fan.

Sleeping Baby Death Crawl
This event can only take place after hours of rocking or bouncing a teething child to sleep. Once the child has been laid down to sleep, the competitor must tiptoe, crawl or otherwise get away from that baby without waking them. This event requires great skill and concentration as even a few hairs coming out of place on your head will awaken the screaming child. 

High Speed Highway Hurling
This exciting event has many extreme components. The games begin when your toddler announces from their car seat in the third row that they are about to get sick. The competitor (who may NOT be the driver) must then climb over every row of seats - while the car speeds down the highway - to try to catch as much vomit as possible. Bonus points if the competitor manages to find a plastic bag or napkin to help in the process. Double bonus points if the mess can get cleaned up at 60 miles per hour before the rest of the kids start gagging. Points to the driver if they can find the nearest establishment to purchase clean clothes for the puking child.



What about you? Do you have an event to add to the games? Leave it in the comments below...

HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's going EXTREME. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and Twitter. Like the page and follow me!

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The Moment When...

... you get out of the shower and dry off with a SpongeBob SquarePants towel.
... you stay up until the wee hours just to have some quiet time.
... you eat Kraft macaroni & cheese out of the pot with a wooden spoon.
... you threaten to "turn this car around!"
... you vacuum up what must be 87,000 multi-colored feathers that exploded from an art kit.
... you're up at midnight laughing out loud at Friends reruns with a sleeping baby on your shoulder.
... you find yourself brushing your teeth with a Barbie toothbrush.
... you realize that your parents weren't quite as crazy as you always thought they were.

That's the moment when you realize you're life is nuts because you have kids. Welcome to Crazy Town!

HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's embracing the crazy. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and Twitter. Like the page and follow me!

---->P.S. Don't forget to vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs. Click that cute little brown button on my sidebar to vote for me...

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you want a cute coffee mug??