You made it! Here it is... the blog where you get to sit back and laugh at - or be completely horrified by - life with 5 kids, 2 parents, some frogs, a cat & a rabbit (and those are just the creatures we know about).


It's all about the tone...

I have five children.  And before you ask, yes, they are all mine.

"Are they all yours?"

I get asked this question at least once every time I go out in public with the kids.  In and of itself the question is not offensive.  It's all about the tone in which it is asked.  Some people say it with a tone of amazement.  The underlying message is: wow, that crazy girl has 5 kids and they're all close in age!  Others seem rather impressed that I am out by myself and they're not running wild.  More often than not, however, the tone clearly conveys the horror of the interrogator.  "Are they all yours?" is asked while turning down the corners of the mouth and making a face that looks like you just smelled sour milk.

I'm not sure why these people feel so bothered.  My kids behave in public (what they do at home is another story).  I watch them, I feed them, I pay for them, and I even bathe them occasionally.

I've discovered that when you have one child, everyone wants to know when you'll have another.  I'm sure people who have an only child get peppered with questions about a future sibling all the time.  Once you pass the respectable two children, all bets are off.  I had my third child and people were a little surprised.  Although, some suggested I should "even it out."  When I had my fourth, some were a little dumbfounded, but they liked that I now had 2 boys and 2 girls.  Then... I went for number 5.  Now people watch me like a ticking time bomb because they're sure the arrival of the fifth child means I'm planning on having 20 and starting my own reality show.

My question is why? Why do people feel the need to approach a perfect stranger and give unsolicited opinions?  Sometimes, they're not even strangers.

The other day, I was at a memorial service.  A mother walked by me with a brand new baby in her arms.  I politely smiled at the little bundle she was carrying.  An acquaintance of the family, who barely knows me, walked up and said, "Don't even think about it.  You're done!"  Why?  Why does this person feel compelled to comment?  I didn't try to steal the woman's baby.  I didn't turn to my husband and tell him we need to go home and have another.  I merely smiled.  And, not for nothing, but this woman was a nun.  Is that a commandment or something?  Thou shalt give your opinions very obnoxiously in inappropriate settings.

Regardless, my husband and I chose to have a large family.  It's not as common nowadays, but it's not unheard of, either.  I'll continue to field the question.  Yes, they're all mine.  Who else in their right mind would take 5 kids to the grocery store if they didn't belong to them?


NurseNoodle said...

Love it. I think the fact that the nun offered such an outraged reaction is ironic. Doesnthe catholic
church still disapprove of birth control?!
Overall I think you need to adopt a new approach to the comments. You can't really blame someone. People in general are self absorbed. When they see you with five little ones, they are only thinking about themselves and how they probably could never manage it. Fact is, you do really well and It shows by how well behaved your kids are. I think you need to start having fun with it instead of gearing annoyed.

Are they all yours?

-yes, I started with one but spilled water on him and they keep multiplying. At least I don't feed them after midnight.

-yes they are. Please help me. Will you take one?

-yes, my numerologist says I have to do everything in multiples of five. Have a good day. Have a good day. Have a good day. Have a good day. Have a good day.

-yes they're all mine. The more I have, the bigger the state check I get. Thanks for working to pay for them.

-five kids? I only have 2. You should get your eyes checked.

Lissie said...

Brilliant, NurseNoodle! I like your tactics. I always knew you were the much wittier sister!

Laminator said...


IT Guy said...

You two are pretty funny. I know your parents, and thus am sure you didn't get it from them!


Lissie said...

Lol... Thanks, Dad!

Lala said...

I beg to differ with IT Guy.I,also,know the parents and I think that I am pretty funny,hence this comment.

Lissie said...

Good one, mom... You guys are pretty funny, yourselves!

Ado said...

So glad you linked up to join in our Blog Bash celebration!
I know a mom who has 5 and one on the way. We were all standing around waiting for a class and a mom of 1 (and we know how those moms are!) started asking her the questions you get and - "But how will you HANDLE it? Was it PLANNED?" and all sorts of really jugemental questions! So I stepped in and said once you go from one to two you might as well have 16, it's always chaotic. But the older ones can help. Jeez. Anyway - loved your post, thanks for linking!

Terri Sonoda said...

Large families are wonderful! I come from a small family but my Mom was the youngest of 13 so I lavished in doting aunties and uncles as a child. Fabulous! Loved the post!