It's all about the tone...

I have five children.  And before you ask, yes, they are all mine.


"Are they all yours?"


I get asked this question at least once every time I go out in public with the kids.  In and of itself the question is not offensive.  It's all about the tone in which it is asked.  Some people say it with a tone of amazement.  The underlying message is: wow, that crazy girl has 5 kids and they're all close in age!  Others seem rather impressed that I am out by myself and they're not running wild.  More often than not, however, the tone clearly conveys the horror of the interrogator.  "Are they all yours?" is asked while turning down the corners of the mouth and making a face that looks like you just smelled sour milk.


I'm not sure why these people feel so bothered.  My kids behave in public (what they do at home is another story).  I watch them, I feed them, I pay for them, and I even bathe them occasionally.


I've discovered that when you have one child, everyone wants to know when you'll have another.  I'm sure people who have an only child get peppered with questions about a future sibling all the time.  Once you pass the respectable two children, all bets are off.  I had my third child and people were a little surprised.  Although, some suggested I should "even it out."  When I had my fourth, some were a little dumbfounded, but they liked that I now had 2 boys and 2 girls.  Then... I went for number 5.  Now people watch me like a ticking time bomb because they're sure the arrival of the fifth child means I'm planning on having 20 and starting my own reality show.


My question is why? Why do people feel the need to approach a perfect stranger and give unsolicited opinions?  Sometimes, they're not even strangers.


The other day, I was at a memorial service.  A mother walked by me with a brand new baby in her arms.  I politely smiled at the little bundle she was carrying.  An acquaintance of the family, who barely knows me, walked up and said, "Don't even think about it.  You're done!"  Why?  Why does this person feel compelled to comment?  I didn't try to steal the woman's baby.  I didn't turn to my husband and tell him we need to go home and have another.  I merely smiled.  And, not for nothing, but this woman was a nun.  Is that a commandment or something?  Thou shalt give your opinions very obnoxiously in inappropriate settings.


Regardless, my husband and I chose to have a large family.  It's not as common nowadays, but it's not unheard of, either.  I'll continue to field the question.  Yes, they're all mine.  Who else in their right mind would take 5 kids to the grocery store if they didn't belong to them?