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4.04.2013

The One With The Epic Meltdown

My kids are relatively good most of the time. They may fight occasionally, they may be fresh when they're cranky, but, for the most part, they are pretty good.

Except when they're not.

I have a theory that kids have a certain quota of nonsense they have to pull. Unfortunately, mine like to save it up for one atomic meltdown every six months or so. There was an episode, when Lucy was about 3 years old, that she cried for 4 straight hours because I wouldn't buy her a toothbrush at the grocery store. Sean once went the way of Linda Blair (a la The Exorcist) because I wouldn't buy him ice cream for breakfast. So, I know this isn't an unusual phase for my kids around the age of 3. Unfortunately for me, Charlotte has always been a little advanced for her age.

Charlotte decided to try her hand at the atomic meltdown at the grocery store the other day. My first mistake was saying out loud that I was just going to run into the store for a few things. I should know right away that I'm tempting fate with a statement like that. I only had Sean and Charlotte and really only needed a handful of items. Piece of cake, right? {Go ahead and laugh at my naiveté. You have my permission.}

It started with the shopping cart. Both kids wanted the cart with the car attached to the front. Sadly, every single one of those carts had only one steering wheel. Instant recipe for disaster. Luckily, the kids figured they could take turns driving. Until Sean decided he was going to get out and walk. Then Charlotte wanted to help me scan the groceries with the hand scanner. This isn't usually a problem, but I let Sean have a turn. Apparently, this was the ultimate offense, because that is when Charlotte proceeded to lay herself down on the floor of aisle 6 and sob like I just killed her best friend.

I thought I could just walk down to the end of the aisle and say goodbye. This usually brings her running. But, my little friend was in it to win it. She stayed right there and didn't even care when I turned the corner into the next aisle. I then had to run all the way back and grab her before someone called child services. Not to be conquered, Charlotte resorted to the boneless chicken maneuver. You know, when your child is suddenly made of Jello and can't be lifted? Of course, I'm not new to this game, so I had a pretty good handle on her. So, my wonderful angel of a child went straight up crazy and tried to kick me.

Oh no, sister. Not happening.

I took my little demon child and buckled her (by force) right into the car carriage. She proceeded to scream and cry for the remainder of my "quick" trip to the grocery store. She finally settled a bit when I was checking out, but then started up all over again because I wouldn't let her pay. Although, if she had any cash, I definitely would've given in on that one.

My darling daughter cried the whole ride home and finally fell asleep at the house. Which made me really appreciate the sound of silence. Until she woke up mid-nap screaming, "I WANT TO SCAN IT!"

Is this chick for real? She was carrying this tantrum straight into her dreams. What a lunatic!

All told, the atomic meltdown lasted for about three hours. Not including naptime. Let's be glad that they don't happen more than once or twice a year, because I'm sure one of us wouldn't survive.

What about your kids? Have they ever had a memorable meltdown? Please let me know I'm not the only one! ;)


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8 comments:

"As We Speak" said...

I am sending you a sympathy card and xanax...STAT!

I have four children, who are no longer 'children.' Have to say, never had any temper tantrum throwers!

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Lissie - Giggles and Screams said...

Thankfully, it's a rarity here. But, man, it was a good one for sure!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons said...

I completely fell your pain! Just today I took mine to this indoor inflatable jumpy house place. My 5 year old didn't scream and cry, but DID lay/roll in the floor, kick me, and refuse to put her shoes & coat on when it was time to go. all this because I wouldn't go out to the car in the rain and get quarters for her to play the little arcade games - as if I hadn't already paid $30 for them to play for a couple hours! Oy! Rest assured you are not alone! :-)

Lissie - Giggles and Screams said...

Misery loves company - thanks! ;)

Lala said...

Lissie,
It must have been something in her gene pool.

Lissie - Giggles and Screams said...

I'm sure you're feeling quite vindicated, Lala. I've heard I was a handful. ;)

RealMomofNJ said...

Here's how I handle tantrums: I join in! Hehe! http://www.realmomofnj.com/2013/02/04/if-you-cant-beat-em-thow-a-tantrum/

Lissie - Giggles and Screams said...

I just read your post. I am definitely keeping your "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" tactic for future use!