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8.04.2014

Death By Bubbles

My kids have reached an age and stage of independence. It's a wonderfully liberating time as a mom who had five kids in less than seven years. Which means I get a little too comfortable with my freedom. Take bathing, for example. 

We have a big jacuzzi tub that fits at least three of the kids. They love taking bubble baths in the tub. Now that they're all getting so big, they can set up the bath with very little help from me. It's a win-win situation - they're getting clean and they're staying out of my hair. 

Except for when I don't supervise and they decide to use half a bottle of shower gel to make the tub extra bubbly. Sean and Charlotte turned on the jets and had bubbles up to their chins. This wasn't too much of a problem. They were just extra squeaky clean. It's that I never considered what would happen after the little fools drained the tub and the bubbles popped. 

It all went downhill when I needed to take a shower. The edge of the tub is quite high, but I didn't think twice about stepping right into it. I no sooner put my right leg into the tub than it slid across the scum left behind by millions of (now dirty) shower gel bubbles. My right leg went flying and my left leg slammed into the ledge that runs around the edge of the tub. I ended in a bizarre split with one leg in the tub and the other outside of it. Great day for the lady parts. This fun little gymnastics stunt warranted a swear that I only save for very special occasions and rhymes with brother-trucker. 

I couldn't find a recent picture of Sean and Charlotte, but I found an old one from when the big kids used to take bubble baths together:

That, my friends, is extreme bubble-bathing.

Unfortunately, the combination of all of those bubbles and my natural grace led to this: 
As a general rule, I don't usually post pictures of my fat thighs for all of the internet to see, but that bruise is too fantastic not to share. 
Every day it's a different color. I'm like Rainbow Brite. I can't wait until it turns yellow and brown in a few days. Super attractive!

I guess the lesson here is to supervise the use of my shower gel or, at the very least, teach the knuckleheads to scrub the tub after one of their extreme bubble baths. 



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-->What about you? Have your kids tried to kill you yet? Feel free to share your story in the comments below...

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