Why I Shower at 5am

I made a mistake trying to take a shower yesterday while all the kids were around. Usually, I avoid this situation by taking a shower long before they wake up. Unfortunately, I overslept yesterday and that didn't quite happen. Below is a transcript of the conversations that occurred while I took my 7 minute shower.


Sophie: Mom, since I'm not going to school today, I won't get to see if the bucket of water froze.
Me: Well, Soph, we can always put out our own bucket of water and see if it freezes.
Sophie: Oh, in that case, I've got some ideas about what we could do. We could use a - 
Me: Okay, Sophie. Let's talk about it when I get out.


Two Minutes Later...


Lucy: mumblemumblemumblemumble
Me: Lulu, I have no idea what you're saying. Speak up!
Lucy: MUMBLEMUMBLEMUMBLEMUMBLE
Me: Lucy, just open the door, I can't hear a thing you're saying!
{opens door}
Lucy: I was trying to get paper out of the drawer and I broke a lightbulb.
Me: Fine. I'll be right out. Make sure no one goes in the dining room.


30 Seconds Later...


Someone shouting: Charlotte! Get away from the broken glass!
Me: Some one grab her, I'm coming right out!!!!


This is where I hastily rinse my hair and ponder whether I even got around to shaving both legs. I grab a towel, fling the door open and check that no one is playing in the broken lightbulb. I figure I have just enough time to throw clothes on and vacuum before someone starts eating glass.


As usual, lesson learned. It's safer to just be dirty.

I feel your pain, Janet Leigh. I feel your pain.

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