Wake N Shake

There's been a crazy phenomenon happening in my bed. And before you cringe, or warn me about where babies come from, it's not that kind of phenomenon.

PJ & I both suffer from issues with the snooze button. I can hit that button in my sleep every eight minutes and still manage to wake up an hour late. In order to combat my snooze issues I set not one, not two, but three alarms for the morning. One is on my actual alarm clock, and two alarms are set on my iPhone. I don't always sleep well, so getting up in the morning isn't super easy.

PJ is even worse than I am. He used to leave his alarm clock all the way across the room and still manage to oversleep. This man sleeps like the dead. He would either never hear the alarm or walk across the room, turn off the alarm, and resume sleeping like nothing ever happened. Obviously, this would make arriving to work at a decent time a real challenge. 

PJ decided that he needed to take drastic measures. So he got a new app for his iPhone. Enter the crazy phenomenon - Wake N Shake. This app is terrifying. And, while it works wonders getting my husband out of bed daily, it is making me strongly consider sleeping in a different bedroom.

Close your eyes and I'll describe the scene. Okay, don't close your eyes because then you can't read, but try to envision this:

• You're sound asleep in your bed. All of a sudden, the scariest evil laugh you have ever heard starts echoing all around your room. (Why PJ chose this particular sound for the alarm really makes me question his sanity.) While you frantically try to figure out from where the evil laughter is coming (and how a murderous clown got into your bedroom), an earthquake hits. The bed begins to shake so violently, you're not sure whether your demise will be at the hands of the evil-laughing clown or the quake.

Lovely, right? Isn't that a beautiful way to arise from your slumber? Who needs chirping birds and the slowly rising sun when you can have evil laughter and earthquakes. The thing about the app that works for PJ is that you cannot turn off the alarm (scary, horrible, loud, evil laughing) until you violently shake your phone for a certain amount of time. The app refers to itself as the alarm clock with "no mercy." I'm just not sure what I ever did to deserve this. 

You can't stop shaking until you get to 100%. Not any wimpy shaking. You need to destroy that mother-effer.

Another added bonus: on those nights when I have insomnia, the stupid phone displays exactly how much time is left until it goes off. I get to look over at that asshole phone as it taunts me with "4h 20m till wake n shake."

So, while PJ has cured himself of sleeping through the alarm clock, I awake every day in terror. Please, help me. I'm a-scared.

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Do you have trouble getting up in the morning (there's an app for that)? Feel free to share your story in the comments below...