Don't get a dog.
If you get a dog, he might be tall enough to reach all of the counters in your kitchen. If he can reach all the counters, he might help himself to the fruit bowl. Unfortunately, after he helps himself to some fruit, he'll refuse to use the trash can. This is when you'll find yourself walking in the dark at 5 am and LITERALLY slip on a banana peel. Don't slip on a banana peel.
My life is a cartoon. Not only that, but I went back to bed with a cup of coffee only to find the dog sleeping with his head on my pillow.
Have a tip to share? Or the number for a dog trainer? Feel free to leave a comment below...