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You made it! Here it is... the blog where you get to sit back and laugh at - or be completely horrified by - life with 5 kids, 2 parents, some frogs, a cat & a rabbit (and those are just the creatures we know about).

5.28.2013

Tuesday's Tip (#33)

Here's a tip for you:

Buy some birthday candles.

I bake cakes ALL the time. Most of them are hired jobs, but, you would think that a lady who bakes at least one cake a weekend would have birthday candles in the house, right? I mean, come on. I have five kids. Someone is always having a birthday. Alas, I never remember birthday candles. Which is why my eight year old is blowing out a tea light on her cake. Happy birthday from the cake lady who can't be bothered with more details.

























Have a tip to share? Or a pack of birthday candles? Feel free to leave a comment below...

...& be sure to check back every Tuesday for a new tip!


5.15.2013

Wordless Wednesday - Teacher Appreciation


I got some teacher appreciation love from the Blue Room. I love my tiny students!


5.14.2013

Tuesday's Tip (#32)

Here's a tip for you:

Stop watching Law & Order SVU (or get a chiropractor).

I went for a run a little after it got dark last night. I then spent 30 minutes running and flipping my head back and forth like a lunatic because I was fairly certain that some creep would be sneaking up behind me at any second. It's really not good for my neck. Clearly, I watch too many crime dramas. I was avoiding dark bushes and giving parked cars a wide berth. Hey, at least if I ever get attacked, it won't come as a surprise. Just pray for the poor innocent bystander who tries to share a sidewalk with me. They're going down. (Sorry, old lady.)

And don't make fun of my new rainbow shoes - they rock.

Have a tip to share? Or some pepper spray? Feel free to leave a comment below...

...& be sure to check back every Tuesday for a new tip!


5.13.2013

It's Not That Hard

Brace yourselves, dads, because shit's about to get real.

Here it is, your guide to the perfect Mother's Day. Please, bookmark this now and save it as a reference for next year. You can thank me later when I've saved your marriage.

When the kids are little and not quite adept at being responsible for their own Mother's Day gifts, it's up to you dads/significant others/partners to help them out. It's really not all that hard.

With any luck, the school-aged children will come home with some adorable craft to give to mom. Beautiful. Half the battle is already won. If not, grab a few pieces of paper out of the printer, some crayons, and set those little kiddies to work on some homemade cards. Us moms eat that crap right up.

Okay. The cards are handled. Here's the big finale. Walk into your bedroom while mom is still sleeping (but not too early) and give her the big gift. Whisper into her ear, "Honey, I'm taking the kids out for a few hours. You're going to be all alone. Get your nails done. Eat chocolate in bed. Watch crappy tv. Read a book. Take a bath. Do whatever you want. ALL ALONE."

That is all. We adore our children. They are the center of our chaotic little universe. Just please, for the love of all that is good and holy, give us a few hours out of the year to take a freakin' break.

Heed my advice. You'll be the hero of Mother's Day next year.

You're welcome.

HEY! If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who would kill for a few hours to myself. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and TwitterLike the page and follow me!

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron?


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5.10.2013

It's My Birthday

Today is my 35th birthday. (Okay, so it was really Wednesday. That's what happens when you have 87 kids and a job and a birthday. You don't really get anything done on time.)

I spent some of the morning commute realizing that I feel pretty old. I really don't understand where time has gone.

19 years ago today, PJ gave me a claddagh ring for my sweet 16. I still wear it every day (even though it no longer fits on my ring finger - damn kids made my hands and feet bigger).

14 years ago, I was sitting at midnight on my 21st birthday having my first legal drink at a bar with my college friends. It was awesome.

10 years ago, I was 25 and pregnant with my first child. I was so excited to be starting my family. Who knew how far we'd go with that idea?

Today, I am the mother of five kids ages 9 1/2 -2 1/2. How the heck did that happen?

Those kinds of things make me feel really old. (That and the fact that my mother called me "middle-aged." Just remember, mom, you officially qualify for a senior discount.)

I might be middle-aged, but I don't really feel like a grown-up yet. I'm not really sure when that will ever happen if it hasn't happened yet. I do grown-up type things. I go to work. I pay bills. I put naughty kids in a time out. 

But it's all a farce. Internally, I'm fairly certain I'm still about 20. I love to blast the music in my car and sing like I'm a rock star. I secretly laugh uncontrollably when a toddler says a bad word. I eat chocolate in bed when my kids are asleep while watching Friends reruns. I share the same sense of humor as my 17 year old niece. (Although, she is a little mature for her age. Her mental age may actually be older than mine.) I get the giggles during meetings at work and have to cough loudly to cover up the fact that I'm about to snort. And I adore Far Side comics. 

So, I'm a middle-aged lady with 87 kids and the mental age of a 20 year old. You know what, though? You're only as old as you feel. As long as I don't start trying to dress like a 20 year old, I think it just makes me more fun.




You can't tell me those aren't funny. If you didn't at least chuckle, we can't be friends anymore. Just saying.



HEY! If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who is a little immature. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and TwitterLike the page and follow me!

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. Don't you need a new coffee mug or apron?


CARE TO LEAVE A COMMENT?