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5.13.2013

It's Not That Hard

Brace yourselves, dads, because shit's about to get real.

Here it is, your guide to the perfect Mother's Day. Please, bookmark this now and save it as a reference for next year. You can thank me later when I've saved your marriage.

When the kids are little and not quite adept at being responsible for their own Mother's Day gifts, it's up to you dads/significant others/partners to help them out. It's really not all that hard.

With any luck, the school-aged children will come home with some adorable craft to give to mom. Beautiful. Half the battle is already won. If not, grab a few pieces of paper out of the printer, some crayons, and set those little kiddies to work on some homemade cards. Us moms eat that crap right up.

Okay. The cards are handled. Here's the big finale. Walk into your bedroom while mom is still sleeping (but not too early) and give her the big gift. Whisper into her ear, "Honey, I'm taking the kids out for a few hours. You're going to be all alone. Get your nails done. Eat chocolate in bed. Watch crappy tv. Read a book. Take a bath. Do whatever you want. ALL ALONE."

That is all. We adore our children. They are the center of our chaotic little universe. Just please, for the love of all that is good and holy, give us a few hours out of the year to take a freakin' break.

Heed my advice. You'll be the hero of Mother's Day next year.

You're welcome.

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2 comments:

"As We Speak" said...

Your post should be required reading for husbands...for Mother's Day!

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Lissie - Giggles and Screams said...

It's a public service announcement. ;)