Tuesday's Tip (#15)

Here's a tip for you:


Buy some mascara.


Recently, I was chatting with another mom of a bunch of kids and she asked me why I always look so "put together." I was thinking maybe she was a little nuts because I knew I'd only had about 3 1/2 hours of broken sleep the previous night and no shower. But, then it dawned on me. I've been fooling people for years with my make-up.


I've always been that girl who wears make-up every day. It's just who I am. Not much, but a little concealer, some mascara and some lipstick and... voila! I no longer look like the queen of the zombie apocalypse that was staring back at me in the mirror that morning. Depending on the night I've had, I try to decide exactly how much make-up it'll take until I look human again.


So, when you've had a tough night and you feel like death warmed over, throw on some black mascara. You'll be the best looking zombie around.

My personal favorite

Have a tip to share? Or a favorite make-up trick? Feel free to leave a comment below...

...& be sure to check back every Tuesday for a new tip!

Wordless Wednesday - Busted!

Caught...in the cookie dough. How do you spell salmonella?

HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's out of cookie dough. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and Twitter. Like the page and follow me!

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Tuesday's Tip (#14)

Here's a tip for you:


Say "I love you."


I'm not talking about the idea that life is short and we should always let the people we love know how we appreciate them. That's a beautiful and meaningful sentiment.


I'm talking about when your 20 month-old daughter wakes you up at 2 am and insists on using your iPhone to play the Somebody That I Used to Know video on YouTube over and over again (all while singing along). This is when you should say "I love you." Like a mantra. A mantra that is meant to remind you that it would be totally inappropriate to strangle that little child when she wakes you up every 4 minutes and 4 seconds to replay Gotye's video. The combination of sleep deprivation and xylophone music starts to make you a little delusional after a while. So just keep chanting "I love you." It could save a life.

Have a tip to share? Or a new song for Charlotte? Feel free to leave a comment below...

...& be sure to check back every Tuesday for a new tip!

Sometimes I...

This post is somewhat confessional. Some of these things have to do with being a mom. Others have to do with the fact that I'm a little nuts. If you do any of these things, too, know that you're in good - if a little crazy - company.

Sometimes I:

• wish fervently that the kids would just once scream/whine "DAD!" when they need something.
• vacuum up things (toys, coins, beads, etc.) because I am just too tired to bend over and pick them up.
• freeze for a moment in the shower to determine if the screams or cries I hear are joyful or painful. I'm not getting out unless absolutely necessary.
• rewash a whole pile of clothes because they sat for so long and I never got around to folding them.
• eat chocolate in bed. This has nothing whatsoever to do with being a mom. It may, however, have something to do with the size of my ass.
• don't bathe the kids. Every now and then I stop and think, "Wait. When was that last bath/shower?" I am seriously considering throwing a bar of soap in the pool. 
• let the kids sleep together. Not even sometimes. All the time. As long as they're sleeping, I don't really care where it happens. Top bunk, bottom bunk, boys' room, girls' room, mattresses on the floor for a "campout" - I just don't care. Whatever involves me yelling "Go to bed!" the least number of times works for me.
• have the big kids read to the little kids. There are nights when I have too many things to do and know I won't get around to reading a story. That's the beauty of having advanced readers. They can do it for me. So, the big kids get more reading practice and the little ones get read to. Win-win.
• do things in multiples of four. Like eat Oreos or set the TV volume (always 24, 28, 32... NEVER 26, 31, 35...). Did I tell you I have OCD? Well I do. I do. I do. I do. I'm really hoping I can get it under control now that I've gone past four kids. I just don't think we can afford eight children.
• crack my own self up reading my blog. I desperately hope someone else is laughing, too.

This list could go on forever. Let's just say it's TO BE CONTINUED...

So, so crazy...

HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's hiding in the shower. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and Twitter. Like the page and follow me!

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**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. You know you want some!

Wordless Wednesday - Drive In

There's a drive-in movie theater about 40 minutes from our house. We have a blast watching two new movies (especially for $25 per carload). But, one of my favorite things is that they play the old ads for concessions during intermission...

HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's at the movies. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and Twitter. Like the page and follow me!

---->P.S. Don't forget to vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs. Click that cute little brown button on my sidebar to vote for me...

**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. You know you want some!

Tuesday's Tip (#13)

Here's a tip for you:

Buy a cow.

If you have more than one kid, just go ahead and buy a cow. I know nothing about cow care and maintenance, but it's got to be better than the constant fear of running out of milk. I was at BJ's on Sunday and we bought two gallons of milk. I almost got three, but since we were stocking up on groceries, I figured there wouldn't be enough room in the fridge. (Plus, where would I put the beer and wine if I bought another gallon of milk?) Here it is, Tuesday morning, and we have half a gallon left. I know cows aren't exactly accustomed to city life, but, I've got an average-sized yard. Surely she wouldn't mind grazing out there. It would really help me out with our 3 - 4 gallon a week milk habit! I'm thinking that after a few short weeks, this cow will have paid for itself. Not to mention the fact that Sophie has been complaining that she doesn't have her own pet like the big kids do. Two birds, one stone, baby...

Not out of place at all!

Have a tip to share? Or a cow care manual? Feel free to leave a comment below...

...& be sure to check back every Tuesday for a new tip!

Things You Hear...

I know the whole "kids say the darndest things" phenomenon is not new. I've even blogged about it before. The other day, however, I decided to write down some of the weird, silly, or inappropriate things I heard in my house. Here's a small sampling of the ridiculousness that is my life:


Mom, Sean's gargling soda from last night!
Apparently, someone - who shall remain unnamed PJ - left a glass of Diet Coke on the table. Patrick thought I should know that Sean decided to use it as mouthwash at seven in the morning.


I peed on the toilet!
Charlotte, announcing the fact that she started potty training herself at three in the morning. Because she's a pain in my ass. Or because she's trying to free me of the diaper hell I've been in for 8 1/2 straight years.


No, Charlotte. Only boys can stand when they pee. Because they have a wiener.
Sophie, explaining the ways of the world to her little sister.


Keep buttering! Keep buttering!
What I heard Sophie shouting from the other end of the house. I really hoped she was referring to toast. Unfortunately, she wasn't.


My finger was stuck but Sophie buttered it and it came out.
Sean got his finger stuck in the clasp of Mobay's leash, so Sophie grabbed the butter off the counter and took care of that problem. Ingenious. I love when these kids take care of problems without my help. I think. 


She's strangling him!
This one was in my notes, but I can't remember  a.) who said it, b.) who was the strangler or c.) who was strangled. It's a toss-up, really. And a testament to how nuts this place is.


These bubbles suck.
Charlotte, bemoaning her dollar store bubbles and the fact that they just keep popping. I really need a "swear jar." For myself. 


I'm listening to the MUFFETS!!!!
Sean walking around with earbuds in his ears and an old iPod on shuffle. He was a little excited when a Muppets song came on.


You need a little more eyeshadow.
Lucy conspiring with Sophie. This usually ends with Charlotte looking like a baby streetwalker. 


Put your head on my shoooooulder. Whisper in my ear, PIZZA.
Charlotte singing her favorite bedtime song. And replacing the lyrics for a midnight snack.


These little quotes are just a small sampling of the things that can be heard in one day in my house. Needless to say, it's always interesting around here.

HEY... If you enjoy the blog, why not become a follower? I'm the one who's eavesdropping. You can also stalk find me on Facebook and Twitter. Like the page and follow me!

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**And be sure to visit my Zazzle store. You know you want some!