Conversations In My Head

I think it might actually be time to get my head checked. I've been getting progressively crazier over the years, but I've reached a whole new level. As usual, I'm blaming my kids for making me stupid. My mom always said that your brain goes through the birth canal. (Sorry, Paula, that visual really grosses me out.) Apparently, five times over was more than my addled brain could take.

I just discovered this phenomenon where I am having conversations in my head... in lieu of actual conversations with real people. For some reason if someone texts or emails me, I think about the response I'd give them, and then promptly forget to actually send it. Sometimes, I get caught up in daily life... I'm at work, I'm bathing all of these dirtballs, I'm trying to feed a pack of hungry wolverines (also known as my kids), and I think that I'll type out that response as soon as I get a quiet minute. And then I lose my mind. Shit flies out of my brain so fast these days that I might be in need of a serious gingko biloba infusion. 

The problem is, I'm responding in my head and my little mental checklist just checks that off and moves on to the next thing. I'm not really sure how to combat this. So here's a little public service announcement:

If you sent me a text, email, or other such message, know that I had some pertinent, witty, and well-written response to your message. In my head. Just make up whatever you want to hear. That's what I meant.

So... If you sent me a message, email, text, or tweet and I haven't responded, I'm not ignoring you. I just have no brains left. Good thing I have all of these kids to care for me when I'm old. They might have to start in year or two.

Don't laugh when you see me with six strings tied to my fingers...

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